Crafting My Protagonist: From Perfect to Hot Mess (In a Good Way)
Hi fellow readers, writers, and friends!
We read books to escape reality, learn something new, or feel ALL the feelings. And the only way to nail that? Build a protagonist we can't stop thinking about.
Remember the Twilight Saga? Those characters were so addicting that the world split into Team Jacob vs. Team Edward. (I was Team Edward, obviously.) THAT'S what good character building looks like. And let me tell you—it's one of the most challenging parts of writing my first manuscript.
After my beta readers tore through my first draft, their feedback hit me like a truck:
- He was too perfect = boring.
- He was too childish = annoying and unrelatable.
- They liked the deuteragonist and side characters MORE = huge problem.
Ouch.
So what did I do? Research. (You'll notice I do this A LOT when I hit a wall.) I needed to figure out what makes a protagonist actually work.
Here's what I learned:
Humans want to read about... well, humans. We're all gloriously flawed in our own unique ways.
A great protagonist needs balance—strengths AND weaknesses. They need to be capable but not perfect. And here's the kicker: readers don't have to LIKE your protagonist. (This blew my mind.) But they DO need to understand their motivations and feel empathy for their struggles.
Okay, cool. So how did I take this knowledge and reshape my protagonist, Vander Huxley?
I looked in the mirror.
I deal with anxiety. It hits hardest during major life changes—like when I became a mom.
Suddenly, I had this tiny human who depended on me for everything, and it stressed me the hell out. I'd never really thought about my own mortality before, but now? The idea of something happening to me—and what that would mean for my little human—sent me spiraling.
When I have an anxiety attack, my breathing speeds up, my head gets foggy, and I just want to cry. Over the years, I've learned to manage it. Usually, I go for a run. But if it's really bad? My husband does pressure therapy—basically just lies on top of me like a weighted blanket. (Weird, I know, but it works.)
To humanize Vander, I gave him an anxiety disorder. It's something I understand deeply, which made it authentic to write. But Vander takes it way further. He relies on a synthetic drug called Nullex to numb his feelings. He just... doesn't want to feel anything.
Then I built his backstory.
No one's born with an anxiety disorder. It's something we develop as we navigate life—triggered by genetics, environment, and experiences like stress or trauma.
Vander's been drowning in stress and trauma his entire life. The surface world above him was destroyed before he was even born. He's spent his whole existence living in darkness, breathing recycled air, watching tunnel fever and starvation kill his neighbors. That kind of existence? It takes a toll on your soul.
But wait—it gets worse. Something truly tragic happens to him in the tunnels, and that's the final shove over the edge.
Now Vander's caught in a vicious cycle: using an addictive drug to run from the feelings that trigger his anxiety. And this impacts his entire character arc. Throughout the story, readers watch him battle his addiction and face the consequences of his choices.
What's a character arc, you ask?
It's the journey of change that's at the heart of compelling storytelling. There are positive arcs (rags to riches), negative arcs (hero descends into darkness), or flat arcs (unwavering values that don't budge). And here's the thing: your protagonist needs multiple layers to their arc. Like Vander battling addiction while also searching for his missing twin brother.
So now Vander is perfectly imperfect—just like me. Let's see how the developmental editing process continues to evolve him!
Stay creative, stay obsessed, and make your characters messily human.
Morgan
Debut author faking it till I make it ☕📚✨
Let's Chat: How did you develop your protagonist? I want to hear your story in the comments!
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